guest blog

Wedding Fantasies

by Sarah Ryhanen

I have listened to 45 times today. I have
neglected various important tasks in my day to do this distraction…that is, dropping what I’m working on to walk over to the stereo and hit “repeat.”

What I meant to do was write a post about weddings…something having to do with flowers, and aesthetic and style…what I really want to do though is share some of my wedding fantasies* before I forget them…before I latch onto another ’70 classic rock song and temporarily forget my name..

Wedding Fantasy #1:

200 of my favorite people (if I knew 200 people) are seated at 6 pm on the grand promenade lawn at Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. It’s early fall and the sky is stormy. They are still waiting at 5:45…just long enough for one slimy son of a gun (I know plenty) to loudly express his concern as to the where-abouts of the Bride. Suddenly a marching band can be heard in the far distance…the crowd hushes as the band closes in the from lawn right…they are playing What About Love by Heart in double time. The marching band breaks through the trees and marches right around the seated guests, who are naturally speechless. THEN, smoke shoots up from the grass at the end of the isle during the crescendo and I appear riding a white horse. I guess Eric is waiting there too.

Wedding Fantasy #2:

Any situation where the bride is lowered down onto the wedding stage with a mechanical crank, seated on a giant plywood crescent moon covered in silver sparkles. Maybe a Prince song would be appropriate…?

Wedding Fantasy #3:

A masquerade wedding where all the guests were hired actors. Cuts down on all the pressure, and makes the pictures more attractive, you know?

*Full Disclosure: I do not now, nor in the future plan on having a wedding. Really. I help plan other peoples weddings, and I enjoy that plenty. But I will let you know if I elope Mother.

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  • Sarah, I think I need you to plan my wedding – soundtrack and all. I’m working on a concept that involves wrapping the guests in plastic wrap upon upon arrival. Look! No messy clean-up!

  • Holy crap, I can’t believe the Daredevils were just mentioned on Design*Droits-Humains! I saw them last year at a little cabin in the Missouri Ozarks and it was super rad. And speaking of weddings, they’ll definitely be on my playlist :)

  • Great ideas. I was looking at the Saipua Web site yesterday and I noticed the bouquet that’s in the top photo. I’m planning my wedding right now and would really like to know more about it. Any information would be really great. Thanks!

  • You are hilarious! I’m currently planning my own wedding and I had considered crowd surfing to the alter, but was worried that I might flash my future father-in-law.

  • oh jeez. Please ride a white horse into the ceremony. And make sure Heart is playing. Please. Please let this be a reality. It’ll knock the wind right out of “Rock the Reception”.

  • HA! If only weddings were so spirited and creative!!!

    If it was related to your experiences having planned and participated in so many weddings professionally, I’d LOVE to hear more about why you don’t plan on having a wedding yourself. Why you’d rather elope if you were to marry (at least that’s what I gathered from your post). Please, oh please comment!

  • I absolutely have to tell you that the white horse, marching band and smoke are so outrageous and entertaining I hope someone does it…and blogs about it! The floral designs throughout this post could potentially be inspiration for wedding fantasies…they’re all so beautiful!

  • This is the BEST post ever…it made my day. I had fantasies too, but they mainly involved Billy Idol as the groom and a certain revision of White Wedding video. I did elope and it was really romantic, at lunch time, NYC City Hall, a half-eaten meal afterwards with out witness/best friend Carmen at Da Silvano, she rushed back to work, we walked home for a nap, in the interim my husband asked a young photographer snapping random pics around the Village to take pictures of us instead since we’d just gotten married, he did and gave us the roll in his camera as a gift. That’s it. Love the marching band/Heart idea. Marching bands have an amazing effect on people. They make me cry instantly.

  • This is completely hysterical. It’s refreshing to read a blog post that satirizes the fantasy wedding! ..and make that two of us for eloping! Thanks for the laugh today :)

  • HA: listening to jackie blue while reading this post actually set the scene in the most perfect surreal way. (for the record, it goes best with the “bride being lowered onto the stage” scenario, especially the vamping towards the middle of minute four.)

  • Can I play snare drum in the marching band?

    Mama Fam is going to be so upset to hear that you’re not planning a wedding soon. But she has stopped asking so…

    Great guest blog, Sarah!! Where’s Eric?

  • There are a myriad of ideas regarding making one’s wedding unique and sensational. (Contact us if you’re interested.) In the meantime, whatever the bride and groom’s personal style might be, it should always be in the forefront of their reception plans.

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